Elizabeth (Host): Welcome to Friends with Fertility, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of fertility, reproductive health, and all the emotional journeys that are in between. I'm your host, Elizabeth King, a fertility expert dedicated to providing you with the knowledge, support and inspiration you need on your path to parenthood. Whether you're just starting out, exploring your options or looking for solidarity and advice, we are here for you. Let's embark on this journey together and turn uncertainty into empowerment and make friends with fertility. Let's get started.
Hello. Hello, my beautiful friends. Today, we have Matthew Potter. He is a cofounder of pray dot com, the world's number 1 app for daily prayer and faith based audio content dedicated to growing faith and fostering community. With a background in tech product development and market strategy, he has helped shape innovative solutions in the evolving tech industry. Potter's journey with pray dot com began through a chance encounter with his friend, Steve, who he had found hope in prayer after the tragic loss of a business partner. Inspired to use his expertise for a greater purpose, Potter joined forces with Gutena to launch pray dot com, bringing faith and technology together.
Before pray dot com, Potter founded Homestack, a real estate app, while studying at Boise State. He served as CEO until stepping down to focus on prey dot com, but remains chairman of the board. With over 8000 apps developed, his passion for technology and impact is undeniable.
Well, I am so excited to talk about this today because I am somebody who really believes in the power of prayer. There has been many times that I think you have may have heard me say when I'm asking for prayers for people, particularly this last year for my little friend, Monroe Peterson, who has gotten better, I'll say. I will say to people, pray to God, Allah, whoever it is that you pray for, but please send those intentions. And I really do believe in that power of prayer. So I'm really looking forward to this conversation to dive into this with Matthew, and I hope that you find some solace and hope in this conversation. Enjoy your listen.
Do you prefer Matthew or Matt?
Matthew Potter: Matt's great. Thank you so much.
Elizabeth: Okay. I always ask because I'm an Elizabeth, and when people ask me, I'm always like, no. It's actually Elizabeth. So okay. Well, thanks for being here, Matt. I'm super psyched to talk to you because I feel like for me personally, prayer has been such a pivotal part of my life and now my children's lives. And it's interesting in being a situation where I am influencing people on their fertility journey to encourage them to have some sort of relationship with the spiritual side of life, whatever that may be for everybody. And I love the idea of having a tool to help people to get centered in whatever way that that is. So how did you come up with this? How did you get involved with pray dot com? Tell us a little bit of the background there.
Matthew Potter: Yeah. Actually, so for me, it all started with a 15 year old girl who was pregnant, who was, going to an abortion clinic. And on her way to that clinic, there were actually happened to be a church. And so she stopped into that church to talk to the pastor about 1 of the biggest decisions, she was making in her life up to that point. And the pastor was a little nervous, didn't know what to tell the girl. So we called his buddy who planted a little 20 person church in Los Angeles and said, hey. What should I tell this 15 year old girl that I've never met before that just walked into my church? You're way better at this than me.
And, the pastor in Los Angeles said, you know, I've been counseling this married couple. They've been struggling with fertility for 10 years and have been trying to have children for 10 years. Why don't you ask that girl if she'd be willing to give her baby up for adoption? I just got a response. And the pastor, asked the girl, and she said yes. And I was the baby the girl brought into the church, and I got adopted because of these 2 pastors that were friends. So, when we were talking earlier, I spent, like, you know, maybe 4 hours in Washington state and have been in California ever since. So
Elizabeth: Oh, wow. Matt, what an amazing story. That's
Matthew Potter: Thank you very much.
Elizabeth: Incredible. Yeah. And full goosebumps as you tell that because I'm sure in some form or fashion that can hit home with so many people in different ways. So I appreciate you telling such a
Matthew Potter: Oh, absolutely.
Elizabeth: Story like that.
Matthew Potter: 2 years after, my parents adopted me, they were told they would never be able to have children, and they have my brother. So and that's a common thing, I guess, with, parents that adopt a child that have told that they can't have children. And I don't know why. I don't know the science behind that, but, it just works out that way. So Yeah. I grew up in church, grew up in Southern California. My dad became 1 of the head elders of this little church. It's now the largest church in Los Angeles. It's just a nondenominational bible preaching church.
And so, yeah, I got the really unique opportunity my sophomore year. My friend, his dad worked at a startup called Pixar, and I got to go to Pixar, and I got to run into and meet Steve Jobs. And
Elizabeth: That's awesome.
Matthew Potter: Steve is a super inspirational guy. And, you know, I'm adopted. So my adopted family, everybody's great at sports. Like, bat, ball, you pick up anything. My brother got a d 1 football scholarship. He's amazing. My dad d 1 quarterback football scholarship. I am a baby giraffe. Okay? I am based I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. But when I met Steve Jobs and I heard he was adopted as well
Elizabeth: Oh, I did.
Matthew Potter: By a couple who couldn't have children, I I got really inspired. And so I knew I wanted to do something in software. I was naturally good at computers. And so my senior year of college when Steve Jobs launched the App Store, I said, you know what? I'm dropping out of college. I'm gonna do something in apps. I don't know what. And, called my parents. They had no idea what an app was. No 1 knew what an app was at that point. They're like, what are you getting in the restaurant business? You know? I'm like, no. No. No.
It's so, I built a software development company. We build a specific type of product app for real estate organizations. And so my company, we built over 8000 apps in the App Store over the course of 10 years
Elizabeth: Wow. Amazing.
Matthew Potter: For all the major real estate companies in the United States. A lot that are in Orange County. So, like, Villa Real Estate. There's a there's a bunch of other ones, but, Berkshire Hathaway, Keller Williams, Sotheby's, Coldwell Banker, Century 21, you name it. We built their apps. And so after doing that company, I reached a weird point in my life where I didn't have to work anymore, and I didn't know what to do. I felt like I lost my purpose.
So I called my pastor, asked him how I could help him give back to the church. And, the next day, I ran into my good friend, Steve, and he just lost his business partner in a plane crash.
Elizabeth: Oh, wow.
Matthew Potter: And he was doing that same purpose, soul searching, you know, trying to help himself with grieving and all the things that were going on. And out of that coffee shop meeting, pray dot com came out when Steve said, why is there no digital destination for faith content, for Christian content, for people who are dealing with loss or dealing with different things in their life?
And so, I've got 2 other incredible cofounders, Mike Lynn and Ryan Beck. And, prey dot com came out of that meeting in 2016. So fast forward to today, we have, across the prey dot com platform around 223000000 downloads.
Elizabeth: Amazing.
Matthew Potter: So including our podcast and app. We reach about 5000000000 people, a year through email. We send 5000000000 emails. So it's it's been an incredible journey, and, I just love hearing the stories and testimonials of people who write reviews where we've helped them in that time of need. Like, I feel no greater purpose for my life than, you know, that mom who lost a child who's in the middle of the night, can't call, you know, the church or the local pastor, but they're using our app to help in that moment. You know, there's all sorts of stories that we've got in these emails that people have sent in. So that's that's how we got I got to put it on.
Elizabeth: A big thing that kind of sets me apart from other people in this industry is I really try to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. And and Yeah. When I say spirituality, whatever that looks like for people, because obviously it's different for everyone around the world. And and I honor that. But I also believe there's a core base around just the intention of faith and having hope in something. And that can be spurred from, in my case, God or universe for somebody else or whatever it is that they want to call that. But I find that just the idea of having that hope in faith in something gives you. I don't know that grain of sand that continues to give you the drive to keep going when you're trying to get pregnant or trying to have, drive to keep going when you're trying to get pregnant or trying to have a job change or buy a house or whatever those big life moments may be. It's something that you, when you feel like there's the sand is dripping from your hands, that's like that 1 thing that you have hoped to hold onto.
And I think the reason that Savannah and my team put us together is years ago, I put together a, an aspect of our coaching program. That is scriptures that line back to fertility and having hope around your journey. And it's a little bit unusual again in this realm because people don't often like to overtly say here's Bible verses to talk to help you through it and whatnot. And again, I'm open to anything that people might need, but I know in my hardest times and my most joyous times are the times that I have gone to God and gone to universe and something bigger than me.
And I, I tell this story and I'll say it again, that when I was 19, my sister was diagnosed with a rare form of cervical cancer and was not able to have children. And I had grown up in a Catholic school. I was at this time 19 and felt like at that moment was the only first time that I'd ever prayed. And I had been going to church every Sunday. I had gone to church at school, you know, all the things. But that was the first time that I truly was like, have mercy on this situation, please, Lord.
Matthew Potter: Yes.
Elizabeth: Fast forward to this morning, actually, my 8 year old son is wanting a motorized dirt bike, and there's something in me that keeps, like, you know, like, I don't know why I am resisting this for lots of reasons. But I told him the story. I was on my knees this morning in my closet, having this conversation with him saying, I need to pray about this, Holden, because God gave you to me. And he knows the story that when I found out that I was pregnant with him, I got on my knees in the hotel that I was in Atlanta on a work trip. And I thanked God that I was pregnant because I didn't know if I was gonna be able to.
And those big moments in my life have always grounded me back to where I need to go and how I need to settle my nervous system and how I can just kind of surrender. That's my current prayer right now is I surrender to you. Oh, Lord, take care of everything. And what can that look like for me? And what can we have that look like for other people that may be going through something in their life? And what have I know you have lots of stories that you mentioned, but I think the parallel for our audience of that's struggling through fertility and maybe having losses through miscarriage and or stillbirth or whatever and or losses through embryos and all kinds of things. How do you find that the challenges through that that pray dot com can be of service and help them in that support of that?
Matthew Potter: Yeah. So so 2 things. 1, no 1 would think that prayer and science go together, but they do.
Elizabeth: They do.
Matthew Potter: And so we have a science researcher that we hired, doctor Brie Laird on our team. And she's done 2 cross sectional studies in a clinical trial that have been published in 3 different scientific journals. You can look at the research on prey dot com forward slash science, believe it or not.
Elizabeth: Love it.
Matthew Potter: We have a science department at prey dot com, and we do real research and look at these things. And so the first thing is it really it doesn't matter from what we found. What matters the most is frequency, not the amount of time. So, in our app, we built this, capability of tracking your, like, prayers. So you open up, the app, and it'll it'll track we you know, it's on the honor system, right, that you prayed that day. And so it'll help you track and streak how many prayers you've had in a row.
So, you know, the frequency of praying every single day, contributes to the reduction of mental health symptoms, which, you know, anxiety, depression, all of these things that affect our bodies, right, our physical bodies. And our capabilities of having children or not having children can also be because of mental health aspects. And so I I also
So that's number 1. Right? The science of it.
Elizabeth: Mhmm.
Matthew Potter: Number 2, I'm taking that same journey as probably a lot of the people that listen to your podcast. My wife and I, we lost, we've been having trouble conceiving. We lost our first, in November
Elizabeth: Oh, sorry.
Matthew Potter: Where, my wife had a miscarriage. And, you know, we pray every single day, you know, for for god's wisdom, for his healing, for, you know, to help us through these different things that we're going through. You know, it also wasn't a normal miscarriage. There were a lot of complications and things. And so it's been a it's been a struggle for us too. But, you know, we we cast our cares upon the Lord. Right? We're every day just praying and and also using the science, right
Elizabeth: Yeah.
Matthew Potter: To help us through this time. So not only do I love that we're studying this from a science perspective with our doctors and researchers, but also I'm I'm also journal sorry. I can't pronounce the word. Journey journey on this journey together with everybody. Sorry. I haven't had my coffee this morning. I'm on this journey with everyone that's listening as well with my wife. And so we look forward to continuing to listen to your podcast and, the things that you're talking about. And, yeah, it's been it's been a journey, but we trust in God. We pray every day, and, you know, we have that solace and hope, that everything will work out for the good, which is what the Bible says. So
Elizabeth: And it will. And I I think again, I'm I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and I know that it's so hard. And I think 1 of the things that we don't talk about very often is the male side of the journey of the loss and how, how challenging it can be to be holding up the partner, the wife that in the relationship. And I know from our own situation, you know, even to this day, if my, before talking about it, my husband will well up because it's, it was such a hard time for us. And as much as you may have faith in God, it's it. I know even for me, it was a hard thing to come to terms if this was so meant to be, why did this happen? And how do you, how do you continue to have faith in those times where it's, you're really challenged with something.
And, I think those are the times when we're called most to continue that frequency. And when you said frequency, of course, I'm thinking frequency of our energy, and I think they go hand in hand. Right? Because when we are frequently on an app or doing something that is getting us into that mindset, our literal frequency of our mind and our nervous system also shifts. And when the frequency of our body shifts, then everything else shifts together. And that's again, the beauty of the science of our physiological health and our mental health and our spiritual health, everything else that's out there that God is bringing it to us all come together in this beautiful orchestra, so to speak of knowing that that's working together in harmony.
And I think it's so hard speaking for myself to, to know, to trust in that. Right. To say, okay, it's it's gonna be okay. You will get to the other side. And I think that's why I say first and foremost, when you say that, yeah, you will get there because that's what I wanted somebody to tell us. Like, it is gonna be okay. And of course we want it to be okay tomorrow or yesterday. And
Matthew Potter: Yep.
Elizabeth: That's the other thing is trusting in God's timing. That can seem so cliche. And when you're in it, you don't really wanna hear that because you want it to be your time. Right? And
Matthew Potter: Yep.
Elizabeth: And especially for women. Right? Our biological clock is a real thing. And I know for me, we started at 40. I didn't have time. I didn't have time, God's plan to be on his time plan. And lo and behold, I had 3 beautiful boys over 40, naturally, despite all the things that we went through. So I do believe that, and then all of this stuff that continuously has gone on in my life that I really feel that my mission is to be here starting with my sister's story 30 years ago of that situation.
So it's all meant to be. And I know it's that when you're listening and you're in it and you're like, f that. Like, how is this meant to be? Like, my day to day is consumed by trying to figure out how we're gonna get pregnant, how we're gonna stay pregnant, how are we gonna build our family. Like, the last thing I want is another to do list of something frequency on my calendar of what to do. So what's your advice, Matt, to people who don't want another thing to do list on theirs? Because it's really easy for us who are already believers, so to speak, and, you know, preaching to the choir, so to speak, literally to each other. But for those that are listening that are a little bit skeptical, I'm like, yeah. You know what? But this has been 5, 7 years of this, and I have been praying and nothing's happening. And I don't want another to do list. What's your advice to them?
Matthew Potter: Well, a couple things. My wife just turned 42, so we're in the same boat.
Elizabeth: Yeah. She just turned 40. We're in the same boat as you. Cool.
Matthew Potter: And then, 2, you know, as as males, right, you said you don't talk about the male's perspective. We have no idea what to do. We don't know what we're supposed to do. My my wife got out of surgery, you know, with everything that was going on, and she just said she wanted a bagel. And she didn't tell me what kind of bagel. I was like, I'll get you every bagel on the planet. I don't care. I'll go find it. Like, we just we want you to tell us what to do. Right? We have no idea what to do.
Elizabeth: Right. And that's where coaches come into play. I say not I just wanna you know, not to plug intentionally, but also to say, if we had that, and my husband always says too, like, we would have given anything to have somebody to help us navigate this situation.
Matthew Potter: Totally. Because it also takes a toll on the relationship, right? As strong as you are. And my husband's amazing. He just wanted it to be better for me. You know?
Elizabeth: Yeah. And to your point, like, bagel, here you go. Like, what else can I do? I got her, like, 15 different bagels. I just wanted her to be okay. So exactly what you're saying. So
Matthew Potter: Yeah. And then for the people that are listening, yeah, you're 7 years in, you're 8 years in, you've been praying every day. Look, I if I could predict the future, I would, but, you know, I have I have the faith of a mustard seed, I would say. So I would just continue to have faith, you know, if you need to move into other things. We're also looking into, you know, IVF, and I know that sometimes can be a hot topic. But, you know, we're we're looking into a lot of different things, natural and and IVF and other stuff.
So, I would just say continue to pray. And if you if you don't believe in God and you're more spiritual, that's okay. Like, you can pray too. It's not a big deal. As Christians, you know, I'm my wife and I were Christians. We we pray every day. We believe in the science of prayer too and the science of if you're connecting with your creator and your creator created you, it will affect your physical body and your mental health. And, what's what's 2 minutes in the morning? Like, what's a minute in the morning when you wake up to pray, right, or to give gratitude or to journal or to think? Just 1 minute. 1 minute. It's we get so much time throughout the day. I bet, we're on our phones on social media for much longer.
Elizabeth: You know, on average, people check their phones 52 times a day.
Matthew Potter: Oh my gosh.
Elizabeth: Just make 1 time about prayer, gratitude for all the things that we have. Right? I think I know what's helpful for me is I put a a, what is it? An alarm reminder.
Matthew Potter: Phone. Yeah.
Elizabeth: So my alarm goes off on my phone, and the alarm just has a note in it that says grateful to god or whatever I want to to say. Like, it's gonna be okay or
Matthew Potter: That's right.
Elizabeth: Whatever it is. And it's just that 1 minute that I have or second, literally, to turn my alarm off that it reminds me to have that thought. And I think prayer look can look different for everybody because I think sometimes people are like, I don't know how to pray because they see somebody on TV that's super really great at prayer.
Matthew Potter: Yeah.
Elizabeth: And and it doesn't have to look like that. And and it could look just like being quiet and meditating and not saying anything at all or drawing or taking a walk and being grateful for everything that's around you. It doesn't have to be anything extraordinary because you're still connecting on that frequency, both frequencies, right? Their frequency of doing it and the frequency that you're getting your, your physical body into. And I think that's such a beautiful reminder and I love that that's just come right now with a frequency word to me because I feel like that's what we're missing on a big level right now is this beautiful frequency that we all want to try to get to together as a collective, not only with fertility, of course, but everything of like, how can we all get on this same beautiful frequency to love and.
Matthew Potter: Yeah.
Elizabeth: To be going the same direction in life and, and knowing that we're all here to be together and to love each other and figure out how to do it together as opposed to opposing each other. And if you don't know how to pray, find somebody who does know how to pray and ask them to pray for you. I remember again, when my sister was sick, it was like, do you pray? Can you pray for my sister? Do you pray Like literally to random people, you know, just ask everybody to put that intention of whatever you need out for you because people love to pray for others and love to hold the space for others that are going through things and to know how that's going. Right? We wanna hear, like, how the outcome comes because most of the time, that plan that God has for you works out. And
Matthew Potter: Absolutely.
Elizabeth: Steve Jobs actually is the 1 who says you can't connect the dots looking forward. You have, you can only connect them looking back. And that is a perfect example of those things. When we hear those stories of like, oh yeah, I, it didn't work out that the way that I thought it would, but look at this beautiful story that we couldn't have planned, you know, looking forward.
Matthew Potter: Well, Elizabeth, I love that quote. Like, you can you you know, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back, but I like to add just 1 thing
Elizabeth: Please.
Matthew Potter: Is that's where you see God actually, is when you connect the dots looking back. Right? You see where God implemented into your life different things. And, yeah, that's 1 of my favorite Steve Job quotes. So he he was an incredible guy. And, yeah, I love that. We just if we just took a couple minutes every day, like, everyone has a couple minutes. You know? And and it's as much as we, get upset about the things that we the mistakes we make or, you know, the things we think about, it's it's easy to do, and it's easy not to do. And that's why we just we let it go, and we don't do it. Right? But if think about how much change our lives would have if we just prayed for 2 minutes a day, and were grateful and gave gave gratitude for 2 minutes a day. Like, I think it would change a lot of people's lives just if you started your day that way. Right?
Elizabeth: And back to the data and science, there is data and science that proves that. And to be you, you can't be an anxiety and in the other space of breathing and being present at the same time and in the world that we live in right now, again, just to have that minute or 2 to try to calm yourself and connect with something bigger than you is so powerful. So for people that are listening, who are not familiar yet with pray dot com, where can they find you guys? Obviously, I'm guessing pray dot com.
Matthew Potter: Yes. And and, you know, I didn't I didn't plan on doing this, but just for listening to this podcast right now, if you go to pray dot com forward slash matt, which is my name, m a t t, pray dot com forward slash matt. We'll give you the entire app for free for a year. You don't have to enter in
Elizabeth: insane.
Matthew Potter: Your credit card. Just put in your email address, which logs you in, and you'll get the entire app for free for a year. So we'd love to
Elizabeth: so much. That's so great. As a gift to the listeners. And, I'm on there. If you wanna email me, it's mad at pray dot com. And so, yeah, would love to connect with anyone who's going through similar struggles. You know?
Elizabeth: Awesome. I don't have it figured out. I'm just stepping in faith and praying every day.
Matthew Potter: Awesome. Well, I have my prayer bowl behind me, so I'll I'll add you and your wife to my prayer bowl.
Elizabeth: Thank you.
Matthew Potter: And keep you guys on the list. But thank you so much for being here today and sharing your story with our listeners and sharing your tech savviness to the world of spirituality and all things that are needed in in crossing that bridge with both things. So I'm super grateful for you. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Thank you very much. It's, it's an honor and a blessing to be here. Thanks for inviting me.
Matthew Potter: Yes.
Elizabeth: Thank you for joining us on this episode of Friends with Fertility. We hope that you found the stories, insights, and tips as inspiring and informative as we did. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Your friends with fertility are here for you. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. And don't forget to follow us on social media for updates and more fertility resources. Until next time, stay hopeful and keep believing in your journey and know that we are sending you lots of love.
Elizabeth (Host): Welcome to Friends with Fertility, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of fertility, reproductive health, and all the emotional journeys that are in between. I'm your host, Elizabeth King, a fertility expert dedicated to providing you with the knowledge, support and inspiration you need on your path to parenthood. Whether you're just starting out, exploring your options or looking for solidarity and advice, we are here for you. Let's embark on this journey together and turn uncertainty into empowerment and make friends with fertility. Let's get started.
Hello. Hello, my beautiful friends. Today, we have Matthew Potter. He is a cofounder of pray dot com, the world's number 1 app for daily prayer and faith based audio content dedicated to growing faith and fostering community. With a background in tech product development and market strategy, he has helped shape innovative solutions in the evolving tech industry. Potter's journey with pray dot com began through a chance encounter with his friend, Steve, who he had found hope in prayer after the tragic loss of a business partner. Inspired to use his expertise for a greater purpose, Potter joined forces with Gutena to launch pray dot com, bringing faith and technology together.
Before pray dot com, Potter founded Homestack, a real estate app, while studying at Boise State. He served as CEO until stepping down to focus on prey dot com, but remains chairman of the board. With over 8000 apps developed, his passion for technology and impact is undeniable.
Well, I am so excited to talk about this today because I am somebody who really believes in the power of prayer. There has been many times that I think you have may have heard me say when I'm asking for prayers for people, particularly this last year for my little friend, Monroe Peterson, who has gotten better, I'll say. I will say to people, pray to God, Allah, whoever it is that you pray for, but please send those intentions. And I really do believe in that power of prayer. So I'm really looking forward to this conversation to dive into this with Matthew, and I hope that you find some solace and hope in this conversation. Enjoy your listen.
Do you prefer Matthew or Matt?
Matthew Potter: Matt's great. Thank you so much.
Elizabeth: Okay. I always ask because I'm an Elizabeth, and when people ask me, I'm always like, no. It's actually Elizabeth. So okay. Well, thanks for being here, Matt. I'm super psyched to talk to you because I feel like for me personally, prayer has been such a pivotal part of my life and now my children's lives. And it's interesting in being a situation where I am influencing people on their fertility journey to encourage them to have some sort of relationship with the spiritual side of life, whatever that may be for everybody. And I love the idea of having a tool to help people to get centered in whatever way that that is. So how did you come up with this? How did you get involved with pray dot com? Tell us a little bit of the background there.
Matthew Potter: Yeah. Actually, so for me, it all started with a 15 year old girl who was pregnant, who was, going to an abortion clinic. And on her way to that clinic, there were actually happened to be a church. And so she stopped into that church to talk to the pastor about 1 of the biggest decisions, she was making in her life up to that point. And the pastor was a little nervous, didn't know what to tell the girl. So we called his buddy who planted a little 20 person church in Los Angeles and said, hey. What should I tell this 15 year old girl that I've never met before that just walked into my church? You're way better at this than me.
And, the pastor in Los Angeles said, you know, I've been counseling this married couple. They've been struggling with fertility for 10 years and have been trying to have children for 10 years. Why don't you ask that girl if she'd be willing to give her baby up for adoption? I just got a response. And the pastor, asked the girl, and she said yes. And I was the baby the girl brought into the church, and I got adopted because of these 2 pastors that were friends. So, when we were talking earlier, I spent, like, you know, maybe 4 hours in Washington state and have been in California ever since. So
Elizabeth: Oh, wow. Matt, what an amazing story. That's
Matthew Potter: Thank you very much.
Elizabeth: Incredible. Yeah. And full goosebumps as you tell that because I'm sure in some form or fashion that can hit home with so many people in different ways. So I appreciate you telling such a
Matthew Potter: Oh, absolutely.
Elizabeth: Story like that.
Matthew Potter: 2 years after, my parents adopted me, they were told they would never be able to have children, and they have my brother. So and that's a common thing, I guess, with, parents that adopt a child that have told that they can't have children. And I don't know why. I don't know the science behind that, but, it just works out that way. So Yeah. I grew up in church, grew up in Southern California. My dad became 1 of the head elders of this little church. It's now the largest church in Los Angeles. It's just a nondenominational bible preaching church.
And so, yeah, I got the really unique opportunity my sophomore year. My friend, his dad worked at a startup called Pixar, and I got to go to Pixar, and I got to run into and meet Steve Jobs. And
Elizabeth: That's awesome.
Matthew Potter: Steve is a super inspirational guy. And, you know, I'm adopted. So my adopted family, everybody's great at sports. Like, bat, ball, you pick up anything. My brother got a d 1 football scholarship. He's amazing. My dad d 1 quarterback football scholarship. I am a baby giraffe. Okay? I am based I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. But when I met Steve Jobs and I heard he was adopted as well
Elizabeth: Oh, I did.
Matthew Potter: By a couple who couldn't have children, I I got really inspired. And so I knew I wanted to do something in software. I was naturally good at computers. And so my senior year of college when Steve Jobs launched the App Store, I said, you know what? I'm dropping out of college. I'm gonna do something in apps. I don't know what. And, called my parents. They had no idea what an app was. No 1 knew what an app was at that point. They're like, what are you getting in the restaurant business? You know? I'm like, no. No. No.
It's so, I built a software development company. We build a specific type of product app for real estate organizations. And so my company, we built over 8000 apps in the App Store over the course of 10 years
Elizabeth: Wow. Amazing.
Matthew Potter: For all the major real estate companies in the United States. A lot that are in Orange County. So, like, Villa Real Estate. There's a there's a bunch of other ones, but, Berkshire Hathaway, Keller Williams, Sotheby's, Coldwell Banker, Century 21, you name it. We built their apps. And so after doing that company, I reached a weird point in my life where I didn't have to work anymore, and I didn't know what to do. I felt like I lost my purpose.
So I called my pastor, asked him how I could help him give back to the church. And, the next day, I ran into my good friend, Steve, and he just lost his business partner in a plane crash.
Elizabeth: Oh, wow.
Matthew Potter: And he was doing that same purpose, soul searching, you know, trying to help himself with grieving and all the things that were going on. And out of that coffee shop meeting, pray dot com came out when Steve said, why is there no digital destination for faith content, for Christian content, for people who are dealing with loss or dealing with different things in their life?
And so, I've got 2 other incredible cofounders, Mike Lynn and Ryan Beck. And, prey dot com came out of that meeting in 2016. So fast forward to today, we have, across the prey dot com platform around 223000000 downloads.
Elizabeth: Amazing.
Matthew Potter: So including our podcast and app. We reach about 5000000000 people, a year through email. We send 5000000000 emails. So it's it's been an incredible journey, and, I just love hearing the stories and testimonials of people who write reviews where we've helped them in that time of need. Like, I feel no greater purpose for my life than, you know, that mom who lost a child who's in the middle of the night, can't call, you know, the church or the local pastor, but they're using our app to help in that moment. You know, there's all sorts of stories that we've got in these emails that people have sent in. So that's that's how we got I got to put it on.
Elizabeth: A big thing that kind of sets me apart from other people in this industry is I really try to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. And and Yeah. When I say spirituality, whatever that looks like for people, because obviously it's different for everyone around the world. And and I honor that. But I also believe there's a core base around just the intention of faith and having hope in something. And that can be spurred from, in my case, God or universe for somebody else or whatever it is that they want to call that. But I find that just the idea of having that hope in faith in something gives you. I don't know that grain of sand that continues to give you the drive to keep going when you're trying to get pregnant or trying to have, drive to keep going when you're trying to get pregnant or trying to have a job change or buy a house or whatever those big life moments may be. It's something that you, when you feel like there's the sand is dripping from your hands, that's like that 1 thing that you have hoped to hold onto.
And I think the reason that Savannah and my team put us together is years ago, I put together a, an aspect of our coaching program. That is scriptures that line back to fertility and having hope around your journey. And it's a little bit unusual again in this realm because people don't often like to overtly say here's Bible verses to talk to help you through it and whatnot. And again, I'm open to anything that people might need, but I know in my hardest times and my most joyous times are the times that I have gone to God and gone to universe and something bigger than me.
And I, I tell this story and I'll say it again, that when I was 19, my sister was diagnosed with a rare form of cervical cancer and was not able to have children. And I had grown up in a Catholic school. I was at this time 19 and felt like at that moment was the only first time that I'd ever prayed. And I had been going to church every Sunday. I had gone to church at school, you know, all the things. But that was the first time that I truly was like, have mercy on this situation, please, Lord.
Matthew Potter: Yes.
Elizabeth: Fast forward to this morning, actually, my 8 year old son is wanting a motorized dirt bike, and there's something in me that keeps, like, you know, like, I don't know why I am resisting this for lots of reasons. But I told him the story. I was on my knees this morning in my closet, having this conversation with him saying, I need to pray about this, Holden, because God gave you to me. And he knows the story that when I found out that I was pregnant with him, I got on my knees in the hotel that I was in Atlanta on a work trip. And I thanked God that I was pregnant because I didn't know if I was gonna be able to.
And those big moments in my life have always grounded me back to where I need to go and how I need to settle my nervous system and how I can just kind of surrender. That's my current prayer right now is I surrender to you. Oh, Lord, take care of everything. And what can that look like for me? And what can we have that look like for other people that may be going through something in their life? And what have I know you have lots of stories that you mentioned, but I think the parallel for our audience of that's struggling through fertility and maybe having losses through miscarriage and or stillbirth or whatever and or losses through embryos and all kinds of things. How do you find that the challenges through that that pray dot com can be of service and help them in that support of that?
Matthew Potter: Yeah. So so 2 things. 1, no 1 would think that prayer and science go together, but they do.
Elizabeth: They do.
Matthew Potter: And so we have a science researcher that we hired, doctor Brie Laird on our team. And she's done 2 cross sectional studies in a clinical trial that have been published in 3 different scientific journals. You can look at the research on prey dot com forward slash science, believe it or not.
Elizabeth: Love it.
Matthew Potter: We have a science department at prey dot com, and we do real research and look at these things. And so the first thing is it really it doesn't matter from what we found. What matters the most is frequency, not the amount of time. So, in our app, we built this, capability of tracking your, like, prayers. So you open up, the app, and it'll it'll track we you know, it's on the honor system, right, that you prayed that day. And so it'll help you track and streak how many prayers you've had in a row.
So, you know, the frequency of praying every single day, contributes to the reduction of mental health symptoms, which, you know, anxiety, depression, all of these things that affect our bodies, right, our physical bodies. And our capabilities of having children or not having children can also be because of mental health aspects. And so I I also
So that's number 1. Right? The science of it.
Elizabeth: Mhmm.
Matthew Potter: Number 2, I'm taking that same journey as probably a lot of the people that listen to your podcast. My wife and I, we lost, we've been having trouble conceiving. We lost our first, in November
Elizabeth: Oh, sorry.
Matthew Potter: Where, my wife had a miscarriage. And, you know, we pray every single day, you know, for for god's wisdom, for his healing, for, you know, to help us through these different things that we're going through. You know, it also wasn't a normal miscarriage. There were a lot of complications and things. And so it's been a it's been a struggle for us too. But, you know, we we cast our cares upon the Lord. Right? We're every day just praying and and also using the science, right
Elizabeth: Yeah.
Matthew Potter: To help us through this time. So not only do I love that we're studying this from a science perspective with our doctors and researchers, but also I'm I'm also journal sorry. I can't pronounce the word. Journey journey on this journey together with everybody. Sorry. I haven't had my coffee this morning. I'm on this journey with everyone that's listening as well with my wife. And so we look forward to continuing to listen to your podcast and, the things that you're talking about. And, yeah, it's been it's been a journey, but we trust in God. We pray every day, and, you know, we have that solace and hope, that everything will work out for the good, which is what the Bible says. So
Elizabeth: And it will. And I I think again, I'm I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and I know that it's so hard. And I think 1 of the things that we don't talk about very often is the male side of the journey of the loss and how, how challenging it can be to be holding up the partner, the wife that in the relationship. And I know from our own situation, you know, even to this day, if my, before talking about it, my husband will well up because it's, it was such a hard time for us. And as much as you may have faith in God, it's it. I know even for me, it was a hard thing to come to terms if this was so meant to be, why did this happen? And how do you, how do you continue to have faith in those times where it's, you're really challenged with something.
And, I think those are the times when we're called most to continue that frequency. And when you said frequency, of course, I'm thinking frequency of our energy, and I think they go hand in hand. Right? Because when we are frequently on an app or doing something that is getting us into that mindset, our literal frequency of our mind and our nervous system also shifts. And when the frequency of our body shifts, then everything else shifts together. And that's again, the beauty of the science of our physiological health and our mental health and our spiritual health, everything else that's out there that God is bringing it to us all come together in this beautiful orchestra, so to speak of knowing that that's working together in harmony.
And I think it's so hard speaking for myself to, to know, to trust in that. Right. To say, okay, it's it's gonna be okay. You will get to the other side. And I think that's why I say first and foremost, when you say that, yeah, you will get there because that's what I wanted somebody to tell us. Like, it is gonna be okay. And of course we want it to be okay tomorrow or yesterday. And
Matthew Potter: Yep.
Elizabeth: That's the other thing is trusting in God's timing. That can seem so cliche. And when you're in it, you don't really wanna hear that because you want it to be your time. Right? And
Matthew Potter: Yep.
Elizabeth: And especially for women. Right? Our biological clock is a real thing. And I know for me, we started at 40. I didn't have time. I didn't have time, God's plan to be on his time plan. And lo and behold, I had 3 beautiful boys over 40, naturally, despite all the things that we went through. So I do believe that, and then all of this stuff that continuously has gone on in my life that I really feel that my mission is to be here starting with my sister's story 30 years ago of that situation.
So it's all meant to be. And I know it's that when you're listening and you're in it and you're like, f that. Like, how is this meant to be? Like, my day to day is consumed by trying to figure out how we're gonna get pregnant, how we're gonna stay pregnant, how are we gonna build our family. Like, the last thing I want is another to do list of something frequency on my calendar of what to do. So what's your advice, Matt, to people who don't want another thing to do list on theirs? Because it's really easy for us who are already believers, so to speak, and, you know, preaching to the choir, so to speak, literally to each other. But for those that are listening that are a little bit skeptical, I'm like, yeah. You know what? But this has been 5, 7 years of this, and I have been praying and nothing's happening. And I don't want another to do list. What's your advice to them?
Matthew Potter: Well, a couple things. My wife just turned 42, so we're in the same boat.
Elizabeth: Yeah. She just turned 40. We're in the same boat as you. Cool.
Matthew Potter: And then, 2, you know, as as males, right, you said you don't talk about the male's perspective. We have no idea what to do. We don't know what we're supposed to do. My my wife got out of surgery, you know, with everything that was going on, and she just said she wanted a bagel. And she didn't tell me what kind of bagel. I was like, I'll get you every bagel on the planet. I don't care. I'll go find it. Like, we just we want you to tell us what to do. Right? We have no idea what to do.
Elizabeth: Right. And that's where coaches come into play. I say not I just wanna you know, not to plug intentionally, but also to say, if we had that, and my husband always says too, like, we would have given anything to have somebody to help us navigate this situation.
Matthew Potter: Totally. Because it also takes a toll on the relationship, right? As strong as you are. And my husband's amazing. He just wanted it to be better for me. You know?
Elizabeth: Yeah. And to your point, like, bagel, here you go. Like, what else can I do? I got her, like, 15 different bagels. I just wanted her to be okay. So exactly what you're saying. So
Matthew Potter: Yeah. And then for the people that are listening, yeah, you're 7 years in, you're 8 years in, you've been praying every day. Look, I if I could predict the future, I would, but, you know, I have I have the faith of a mustard seed, I would say. So I would just continue to have faith, you know, if you need to move into other things. We're also looking into, you know, IVF, and I know that sometimes can be a hot topic. But, you know, we're we're looking into a lot of different things, natural and and IVF and other stuff.
So, I would just say continue to pray. And if you if you don't believe in God and you're more spiritual, that's okay. Like, you can pray too. It's not a big deal. As Christians, you know, I'm my wife and I were Christians. We we pray every day. We believe in the science of prayer too and the science of if you're connecting with your creator and your creator created you, it will affect your physical body and your mental health. And, what's what's 2 minutes in the morning? Like, what's a minute in the morning when you wake up to pray, right, or to give gratitude or to journal or to think? Just 1 minute. 1 minute. It's we get so much time throughout the day. I bet, we're on our phones on social media for much longer.
Elizabeth: You know, on average, people check their phones 52 times a day.
Matthew Potter: Oh my gosh.
Elizabeth: Just make 1 time about prayer, gratitude for all the things that we have. Right? I think I know what's helpful for me is I put a a, what is it? An alarm reminder.
Matthew Potter: Phone. Yeah.
Elizabeth: So my alarm goes off on my phone, and the alarm just has a note in it that says grateful to god or whatever I want to to say. Like, it's gonna be okay or
Matthew Potter: That's right.
Elizabeth: Whatever it is. And it's just that 1 minute that I have or second, literally, to turn my alarm off that it reminds me to have that thought. And I think prayer look can look different for everybody because I think sometimes people are like, I don't know how to pray because they see somebody on TV that's super really great at prayer.
Matthew Potter: Yeah.
Elizabeth: And and it doesn't have to look like that. And and it could look just like being quiet and meditating and not saying anything at all or drawing or taking a walk and being grateful for everything that's around you. It doesn't have to be anything extraordinary because you're still connecting on that frequency, both frequencies, right? Their frequency of doing it and the frequency that you're getting your, your physical body into. And I think that's such a beautiful reminder and I love that that's just come right now with a frequency word to me because I feel like that's what we're missing on a big level right now is this beautiful frequency that we all want to try to get to together as a collective, not only with fertility, of course, but everything of like, how can we all get on this same beautiful frequency to love and.
Matthew Potter: Yeah.
Elizabeth: To be going the same direction in life and, and knowing that we're all here to be together and to love each other and figure out how to do it together as opposed to opposing each other. And if you don't know how to pray, find somebody who does know how to pray and ask them to pray for you. I remember again, when my sister was sick, it was like, do you pray? Can you pray for my sister? Do you pray Like literally to random people, you know, just ask everybody to put that intention of whatever you need out for you because people love to pray for others and love to hold the space for others that are going through things and to know how that's going. Right? We wanna hear, like, how the outcome comes because most of the time, that plan that God has for you works out. And
Matthew Potter: Absolutely.
Elizabeth: Steve Jobs actually is the 1 who says you can't connect the dots looking forward. You have, you can only connect them looking back. And that is a perfect example of those things. When we hear those stories of like, oh yeah, I, it didn't work out that the way that I thought it would, but look at this beautiful story that we couldn't have planned, you know, looking forward.
Matthew Potter: Well, Elizabeth, I love that quote. Like, you can you you know, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back, but I like to add just 1 thing
Elizabeth: Please.
Matthew Potter: Is that's where you see God actually, is when you connect the dots looking back. Right? You see where God implemented into your life different things. And, yeah, that's 1 of my favorite Steve Job quotes. So he he was an incredible guy. And, yeah, I love that. We just if we just took a couple minutes every day, like, everyone has a couple minutes. You know? And and it's as much as we, get upset about the things that we the mistakes we make or, you know, the things we think about, it's it's easy to do, and it's easy not to do. And that's why we just we let it go, and we don't do it. Right? But if think about how much change our lives would have if we just prayed for 2 minutes a day, and were grateful and gave gave gratitude for 2 minutes a day. Like, I think it would change a lot of people's lives just if you started your day that way. Right?
Elizabeth: And back to the data and science, there is data and science that proves that. And to be you, you can't be an anxiety and in the other space of breathing and being present at the same time and in the world that we live in right now, again, just to have that minute or 2 to try to calm yourself and connect with something bigger than you is so powerful. So for people that are listening, who are not familiar yet with pray dot com, where can they find you guys? Obviously, I'm guessing pray dot com.
Matthew Potter: Yes. And and, you know, I didn't I didn't plan on doing this, but just for listening to this podcast right now, if you go to pray dot com forward slash matt, which is my name, m a t t, pray dot com forward slash matt. We'll give you the entire app for free for a year. You don't have to enter in
Elizabeth: insane.
Matthew Potter: Your credit card. Just put in your email address, which logs you in, and you'll get the entire app for free for a year. So we'd love to
Elizabeth: so much. That's so great. As a gift to the listeners. And, I'm on there. If you wanna email me, it's mad at pray dot com. And so, yeah, would love to connect with anyone who's going through similar struggles. You know?
Elizabeth: Awesome. I don't have it figured out. I'm just stepping in faith and praying every day.
Matthew Potter: Awesome. Well, I have my prayer bowl behind me, so I'll I'll add you and your wife to my prayer bowl.
Elizabeth: Thank you.
Matthew Potter: And keep you guys on the list. But thank you so much for being here today and sharing your story with our listeners and sharing your tech savviness to the world of spirituality and all things that are needed in in crossing that bridge with both things. So I'm super grateful for you. Thank you.
Elizabeth: Thank you very much. It's, it's an honor and a blessing to be here. Thanks for inviting me.
Matthew Potter: Yes.
Elizabeth: Thank you for joining us on this episode of Friends with Fertility. We hope that you found the stories, insights, and tips as inspiring and informative as we did. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Your friends with fertility are here for you. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. And don't forget to follow us on social media for updates and more fertility resources. Until next time, stay hopeful and keep believing in your journey and know that we are sending you lots of love.
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